Rape culture and the friendzone

Posted on Updated on

I am going to start this post by including a trigger warning; this post involves many references to rape itself, rape culture and victim shaming. I will be talking about some statistics about rape in Ireland and USA. I will be outlining some of the problems of rape culture too. Keep in mind that this is not a comprehensive guide by any means. For instance, I deal mainly with victims of rape who are female and I don’t really go in to what is and isn’t consent, but you can find a great post about that here.

In my previous post, about the Steubenville rape case, I briefly mentioned what is known as rape culture. It is a term I stumbled upon around a year ago while reading various blogs about misogyny and the likes. I must admit, it was very eye-opening to me in a way that was quite uncomfortable.

Full disclosure: I used to engage in this behaviour quite frequently. I didn’t perpetuate rape culture by going out and raping anyone, but when I was younger, I told rape jokes with my friends and thought nothing of it. I am not proud of this, but I feel like it is important for me to point out that it is very possible to be a part of the problem without realising it, and even more important that you can stop yourself from being part of the problem any longer.

Rape culture is essentially the naturalisation of sexual violence, be it through the casual portrayal of coercive sexual behaviour on TV to a simple “joke” told between two friends. All of these things, no matter how small or big, combine to perpetuate a culture in which rape is either seen as the norm, or people’s view of what and what doesn’t constitute rape is completely wrong.

rapeculture

One of the main parts of rape culture that is constantly pushed, especially in TV, is the Stranger Rape Myth; whereby we are led to believe that rape is only ever committed by strangers who are clearly rapists. It is presented as being a simple “strange man attacks a woman under the cover of night, takes her down an alleyway and then rapes her”, but it is rarely that simple.

Statistically speaking, the majority of rape victims knew their rapist before the attack. According to the Rape Crisis Network Ireland, 90% of those who sought their help knew their attacker in some form before the attack took place. That is NINE OUT OF TEN rape victims. One third of all victims were attacked by a family member, while another third were attacked by people they would classify as “friends, acquaintances or neighbours”.

Most of the statistics available about rape are relating to the US, but their pop culture so strongly influences ours that I think it’s fair to say that if they have a rape culture problem, then so do we here in Ireland.

Over in the US, a woman is twice as likely to be raped as she is to get breast cancer. In fact, that is a conservative estimate. Figures vary from whether one in every three or one in every four women in our society has been sexually assaulted in some way. Even if the number was one in ten, we should find such figures intolerable.

As far as the figures for Ireland go, one out of every five women are believed to have been sexually assaulted in their lives, while the figure is one in ten for men. Think about that for a second. Think of your circle of friends. Now think of how many of them you have been sexually assaulted in some shape or form. I’d be willing to bet that you are aware of less than a quarter of the cases of sexual assault in your group of friends.

The highest estimate I have seen for the amount of rape accusations that turn out to be false is 8%. In fact, the actual figure for this is likely to be closer to 2%, which contradicts another myth; the one of “the girl who cried rape”.

Rape is something that we are so afraid to talk about even though it has happened to so many people close to us. I know a number of people very close to me who have been the victims of sexual assault, and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there are more who just haven’t told me yet. Based purely on the statistics, it would be foolish of me to think otherwise.

The reason that there are so many people in your life that you might consider to be close friends who have been raped but never told you is because of the stigma that we, as a society, attach to being raped. I honestly cannot get my head around why we have done this, but it is there.

Our culture is one of victim blaming when it comes to rape. Too often you hear people saying things like the victim “dressed older than her age” when talking about an eleven year-old who was raped. Sometimes they go a step further than just implying it, and come out and say that the victim was “asking for it” by wearing “sexually suggestive” clothing.

By doing this, we are putting the blame on the victim instead of the perpetrator. By telling a girl to wear something different to avoid being raped, all we are essentially saying is to make sure that they rape someone else. We are not getting to the root of the problem, which is that men are taught that women’s bodies are possessions or trophies which need to be obtained in order to fulfill a vague sense of manliness.

This is why we get the birth of what is known as the “friend zone”. The friend zone is a part of rape culture that had become quite prevalent in pop culture. It is usually put forward by Nice Guys™ as an excuse for why a girl could possibly choose someone else over them.

What the Nice Guy™ believes is that if he is nice to a girl and actually treats her with respect, then that girl should want to have sex with him. Actually, the concept goes a step further by allowing the Nice Guy™ to feel entitled to sex with the girl of his choice simply because he has treated her with some sort of basic human decency for an extended period of time.

The friend zone myth is dangerous and insulting because it perpetuates the idea of women as a prize or a reward for being “nice”. It dehumanises women in a way that is more subtle than cat-calling, and this is why so many people fall for it. I fell for it too, when I was younger.

One of my favourite bloggers (Tumblr’s twentysomethinghussy, who unfortunately has cancelled her account) had a great piece titled “Why they weren’t actually all that nice” about her experiences with the Nice Guy™ phenomenon and why it is highly insulting, creepy and even dangerous to treat someone like this, especially someone you claim to care about deeply. Although you can no longer read it, she summed it up as:

“I did not reject you because you were “too nice”. I rejected you because you would not take no for an answer and didn’t care about what I wanted.”

A good video on this topic is by YouTube user the1janitor titled “You’re Probably Not Really a Nice Guy”, if you’d like to see a male perspective on what is a problem largely perpetuated by males.

Again, I’ll end this post with some tweets from some Nice Guys™:

friendzone

friendzone1

Yes, the only way out of the friend zone is rape. Well done.

friendzone3

Because someone who calls women “hoes” is clearly a nice/good guy

friendzone2

Because if she turned down your sexual advances the first time, you obviously weren’t being aggressive/creepy enough

friendzone4

I think this sums it up pretty well. Perfect example of someone who couldn’t care less about what the woman they are apparently being so nice to actually wants…

EDIT: Wow, thanks to Heben Nigatu, Jessica Testa and Ryan Broderick for quoting me on Buzzfeed. I thought about deleting some of the comments below, but I decided to leave them there since they are pretty much exactly what I was talking about in the piece.

I have also updated this post to remove the links that are no longer active

Advertisements

57 thoughts on “Rape culture and the friendzone

    […] I am going to start this post by including a trigger warning; this post involves many references to rape and victim shaming. It includes quotes from people supporting the rapists in the Steubenville rape case and from those blaming the victim. For my general thoughts about rape culture and the friend zone, click here […]

    Robert Nielsen said:
    March 22, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    There’s been a lot in the news that’s been making me re-think sexism. It probably isn’t as dead as I thought it was. The treatment of rape victims is absolutely horrendous and I guiltily remember the times I laughed at “rape jokes”.

    I know the “friend zone” is a bit of a joke, but it does have some not-so-nice undertones. It creates the myth that women only like jerks and therefore deserve what they get. It also implies (as you said) that if you are nice and friendly you have a right to expect something in return.

      Kevin Beirne responded:
      March 23, 2013 at 4:38 am

      You should remove that “probably” from your second sentence. Sexism is far from dead (unfortunately). Just because it’s not overt (ass-slapping, vote-denying etc.) doesn’t mean it isn’t there or harmful.

    […] Rape culture and the friendzone (kevbeirne.wordpress.com) […]

    Smooth ReEntry said:
    March 25, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    […] Rape culture and the friendzone (kevbeirne.wordpress.com) […]

    she was raped! | Beyond words said:
    March 26, 2013 at 7:49 am

    […] Rape culture and the friendzone (kevbeirne.wordpress.com) […]

    […] Rape culture and the friendzone […]

    Rape in Life and Fiction - Laura VanArendonk Baugh said:
    March 28, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    […] Rape culture and the friendzone […]

    Not Asking For It. | Beneath the Tin Foil Hat said:
    April 4, 2013 at 12:14 am

    […] Rape culture and the friendzone (kevbeirne.wordpress.com) […]

    Josh said:
    June 29, 2013 at 6:32 am

    This article is a bit silly and paranoid. You’re letting extreme examples push your whole argument.

    Jarrod said:
    September 22, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    This post was disappointing. I agree with pretty much everything you say, except for the one part that was relevant to the title. Nice guys (or “Nice Guys,” or NiceGuys(TM), or whatever pithy, pseudo-clever way you want to put it) aren’t rapists, or perpetuating rape culture, any more than socially-awkward nerds perpetuate misogyny. Talk to most women who go to conventions of any sort, and you’ll hear some sort of discussion about socially-awkward nerds groping or otherwise sexually harassing women (because they can’t read the social cues that say “I don’t want to be groped by you.”) But this superficial assessment generally overlooks reality, which is that most socially-awkward nerds don’t sexually harass people, whether it’s at a convention or not. Most of the harassers are just your ordinary, sexually-aggressive douchebags who know perfectly well that their actions are unwelcome, know that because of a number of reasons such as cultural condition they can generally get away with it, and are socially aware enough to know that in certain circumstances, claiming to be a socially-awkward nerd will increase their chances of getting away with it.

    Likewise, the people who post online that they feel entitled to sex in exchange for favors aren’t nice guys. They call themselves nice guys to try to get sympathy from women, or to gain solidarity with actual nice guys, or maybe just because they like giving certain people a nice villain to fit their narrative, but they’re not nice guys. Also, wondering why girls aren’t interested in you despite being nice, or even expressing frustration at being in the friend-zone is not the same as “feeling entitled to sex,” and equating the two is both asinine and counter-productive. Wanting to be loved does not promote rape culture. Wanting affection, or even wanting sex, does not promote rape culture. Expressing unhappiness about being unloved or unwanted does not promote rape culture.

    But I think your last example pretty much sums up the main reason this post disappoints me. Earlier, you claim that nice guys promote rape culture because they keep pursuing a girl even after she’s shown no interest. Yet you criticize a tweet (admittedly a slightly crass one for advising guys to avoid precisely that behavior: If a girl puts you in the friend zone, move on. You call it a “perfect example of someone who couldn’t care less about what the woman they are apparently being so nice to actually wants,” but it seems that such a “perfect example” would be a little more obvious. What, after all, do you think the woman wants, and what exactly do you think the nice guy should do? Clearly he wants more than friendship. Is friendship what she wants? Is it to be left alone? The only way is your conclusion makes even a lick of sense is if you assume she wants strictly platonic friendship, and you’re asserting that the nice guy is being not so nice refusing to give it to her. Other than the obvious double-standard (so he’s a bad guy for not wanting the friendship she wants, but even suggesting that she should go out with him with no regard for her own wishes is, well, you know) you’re forgetting that sometimes, it’s not even possible to give someone what she wants, even if you sincerely care. You can’t turn feelings off. If you have a strong enough friendship, maybe it can survive a one-sided attraction long enough to go back to something purely platonic for both people, but this isn’t always the case. If you’re attracted to someone, it’s sometimes impossible to be just friends, no matter how much she wants to, no matter how much you sincerely want to as well. Sometimes, the best you can do is pretend the feelings aren’t there (something you criticize earlier as wrong), or to be honest and walk away.

      Kevin Beirne responded:
      September 22, 2013 at 11:02 pm

      Did you even read my post? It sounds like you’ve got a whole load of “Nice Guy” baggage to deal with. It’s not a double standard at all to say that if you pretend to be someone’s friend then you should be expected to be their friend and that they should not be expected to have sex with you. That’s such a rapey thing to say.

      If a girl tells you she’s not interested in you, then you should respect that decision. Why wouldn’t you? Why do you think that you know what she wants more than she does? When girls say they want a nice guy, they usually follow it up with some other traits (smart, funny, talented, good looking, interesting) because (guess what) women are people too who expect their partners to be dynamic, three-dimensional human beings.

      If the “Nice Guy” really cared about the girl as much as they claim to (seen so many guys claim they are in love) then being friends with that girl should not be seen as a punishment. That’s why the “friend zone” is bullshit, because it implies that the only useful thing a girl can do for you in a relationship is provide you with sex.

      Also, the idea that people should have to send out certain social cues to avoid being groped is pretty much rape culture. You don’t need to have total social awareness to know that you shouldn’t grope people. The suggestion that douchebags pose as socially awkward nerds so that they can grope women is just beyond ridiculous. Even if it does happen, it is nowhere near the norm.

      This entire post was about the fact that rape culture is much more subtle than outright sexual harassment, which is why it’s so dangerous.

        Mstr Dumont said:
        February 6, 2014 at 11:15 pm

        Dear Mr Beirne, while I can follow your argument it is base on a deconstruction hinging on the cultural appropriation of a term by a group you represent or claim to represent. In this case the construct of “friendzone” means many things to many people, and the construction of the term you depict was a carefully constructed straw man argument made to shame the use of the term. I read both your post and the post under the pseudonym of Jarrod and can see that you refuse to allow any rational to his post claiming the top of the mountain using simplifying rhetoric akin to propaganda (the it is so because we believe so. The first objection I have is that your first conclusion was that all men who ever used this term was declaring that “he had asked for sex was denied and than persuasively tried to “charm” the object of his passion (your perceived objectification in this case) by being a false friend awaiting for a possible change in her inclination. Thus discounting multiple other possibilities, mainly that man as woman might want more then just sexual gratification (your aforementioned three dimensional needs), in fact in recent research many youths(18-25 have proposed that they do not have an understanding of modern courtship ( read on the sociological evolution of courtship and relationship for more on this). Thus the term might be used by many people to define vastly different, for example (X) and (Y) have been friend for a significant period of time when Y realized that he might be attracted to X, unsure about the situation Y express to other friends that he (she) is in the “friendzone”. The term have also been seen were a relationship ends and our protagonist are friends past a relationship. Y once more describes how difficult it feel to them to be in the “friendzone”, this does not have to relate to Y search for sexual being but rather his/her need for relationship and companionship.

        On your last point I do tend to agree that the current social situation is far from perfect, yet in your haste to vilify the poster you lacked a good chance to both educate and challenge your own beliefs.

    Tyler said:
    February 6, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    Christ you’re such a feminized little bitch-boy. I bet you’re ashamed of having a penis. Men will always chase woman, big deal. And guess what, girls love being chased. They reject the nice guys because they want the alphas: the bikers, drug dealers, the dangerous ones. Women are attracted to danger, they’ll never admit it and you’ll never understand it.

    I really hate you male feminists, stop trying to shame men for engaging in perfectly normal behavior. Stop believing everything your lectures tell you at UCD and grow up.

      Tyler said:
      February 6, 2014 at 6:52 pm

      And know this: the utopia that you and the other feminazis want to create will never ever happen. You will never be able to regulate human behavior as much as you try. Men will chase pussy and women cock. Deal with it.

      Kevin Beirne responded:
      February 6, 2014 at 9:42 pm

      Yes, I became a feminist only because my economics lecturers told me to.

      anonymous said:
      May 12, 2015 at 6:07 pm

      You’re a fucking asshole. I guarantee you’ve “had sex” with women who you’ve made sure had one drink too many. You are the problem.

    Johnny Boy said:
    February 6, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    She put me in the friendzone, so I put her in the rapezone!

    Hitlerdidnothingwrong said:
    February 7, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    Typical men hating bullshit that is at the core of feminism: all men are rapists, all men are evil, all women are saints and do no wrong. You feminists say you’re all about equality and yet all you’re doing is driving the genders apart. So now if your a nice guy you’re a creepy rapist. And if you make it clear you’re trying to get laid, you’re a sexist asshole.

    So how are we supposed to get women these days? Bow down before them and ask for permission to even speak to them? Why do women go out dressed like sluts on a night out? They do it to attract a male, its a biological instinct that has existed for a million years. All the social engineering in the world won’t change it. I’ve seen girls step over their best friends to get a guy. As much as the feminazi brigade would like to think otherwise, we’re all driven by animal instinct.

      Kevin Beirne responded:
      February 7, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      You know that I can see your IP address, right?

    MK O Flanagan said:
    February 7, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    Great post – I think the relatively new notion of the friendzone is appropriating a human experience – unrequited love or lust – and making it a fraught issue about the sexes.
    Women fall for guys who like them as friends but don’t want to go to bed with them or don’t want to have a relationship with them. Men lust for or fall in love with women who don’t feel the same way. Very few of us escape this painful experience. For a lot of us it’s a part of growing up – having the feelings of loving someone without the messiness and reality of a relationship.

    I think the friendzone idea is reductive and insulting to men, too; it treats men as though they are nothing but dicks – and they’re not. Often friendships with people of the opposite sex contain an element of attraction but men and women are capable of being a friend to someone of the opposite sex – and not wanting or not expecting sex out of that friendship.

    For the angry boys out there – if you’re attracted to someone who’s not attracted to you and you don’t like her company or think she’s worth having as a friend without the sex, move on. If you stay stuck, don’t blame her for teasing you. You’re a free man.

    Lastly, some women are attracted to dangerous men and some are attracted to steady, gentle men; we are all different. And what we like changes throughout our lives and is coloured by experience. Most of us want to be around men who want to treat us as equals.

      TheWorld said:
      February 8, 2014 at 6:08 am

      I think this is the most leveled response of the bunch and would have honestly enjoyed the article better if it had this tone.

      The author puts too much flash on the words “nice guy” and “friend zone” without properly identifying that there is the “genuine nice guy” and the “pretend nice guy”. You can’t lump them into the same group, for all you do is drag down the honest good folk in an attempt to create a buzz.

      I’ve gone through the experience of being friends with someone, then becoming romantically interested in them, only to be rebuffed as they had recently started dating someone but hadn’t made it public yet and was “jokingly” placed in the “friend zone”. We are still friends to this day and I support their relationship because it is their choice and I can accept that. Where I’m from, the “friend zone” term doesn’t have the sickly connotation you give it in your article.

      I’m then reminded of the start of the byline below the title of this blog, “Hello, my name’s Kevin and I’m a 22 year-old writer…”

      I’m not saying the article was bad, it is definitely a discussion that needs to be had and good for you for putting it out there. You are a passionate young writer, that (if you keep writing), will hone your skills and learn that you can have a strong article without misguided attacks that cheapen the message.

      Good luck to you!

    Rape culture and the friendzone | I am a survivor said:
    February 7, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    […] Rape culture and the friendzone […]

    Czym jest kultura gwałtu? | Codziennik Feministyczny said:
    February 24, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    […] Kevin Beirne wspaniale opisuje, jak „friend zone” prowadzi do kultury […]

    […] blogueiro Kevin Beirne tem uma excelente sacada sobre como a friend zone leva a uma cultura do […]

    seahseebai said:
    April 4, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    Reblogged this on Hello 🙂 and commented:
    cannot help to agree with jarrod. fucking hell author you are so oblivious and biased and while your earlier points were valid its pathetic how u dealt with criticism.

    Dan said:
    April 5, 2014 at 5:10 am

    Not sure if you’ve noticed, but most women don’t find all young men equally attractive. There are some men who find consensual sex relatively easy to come by, and some that find it more difficult. This many be for many reasons. Sometimes it is social skills, sometimes he does not have the physical characteristics considered sexually attractive by most women. Or perhaps he listened to women who claim to want nice sensitive guys who share their feelings, when in fact most women do not respond romantically to this type of man. Whatever the reason, some men often find themselves being told “let’s just be friends” while they see their friends have girlfriends and get married. This is the friend zone.

    You quoted a blogger that claimed nice guys “won’t take no for an answer.” But when I was single in my experience women rarely told a guy they weren’t interested. Usually it was something like “I’d like to see you this weekend, but by sister is visiting.” She will expect him to “take a hint” that she isn’t interested, but he may make the mistake of assume she is being honest and ask her out again the following week, making her feel he won’t take no for an answer, when she never actually said no.

    I have never believed that any women “owed me sex” or that I was “entitled” to have sex with any specific woman because I was nice to her, and I don’t know anyone who did think that way (though I don’t deny they do exist). Is it really unreasonable for a man to want to have a sexual relationship, especially since our culture teaches that adults who are not sexually active are losers? Are only hunky-good looking guys entitled to sex and guys that most women aren’t attracted to creeps if they want to join the party too?

      Charles said:
      May 11, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      THIS!
      I have never heard of this kind of friend zone before. This article is a dramatic and contrived straw man of a friend zone.

    […] ル・blogueurケビン・ビアンexpliqueはclairementしますル・概念デ「友人」がヴィオルのpeut腎ピストン・ラ文化を「ゾーンに分ける」とコメントしてください: […]

    […] ル・blogueurケビン・ビアンexpliqueはclairementしますル・概念デ「友人」がヴィオルのpeut腎ピストン・ラ文化を「ゾーンに分ける」とコメントしてください: […]

    Charles said:
    May 11, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    I never thought of the friend zone to mean such a thing. I always thought it was when a guy had a romantic interest in a woman tried to pursue her, but she only wanted to be friends with him.

    This needlessly spins something harmless to sound rapey.

    James said:
    May 13, 2014 at 4:36 am

    I think the points in your article accurately describe some situations, but how can you say that they describe all or even the majority of them? I have talked to many female friends who have admitted that when they are in the courting process with a guy and he starts to exhibit certain undesirable qualities (sexually undesirably not morally or socially undesirable) like for instance not being assertive or aggressive enough, he becomes their friend. It has happened to me before. The friend zone isn’t necessarily men feeling “entitled to sex with the girl of his choice simply because he has treated her with some sort of basic human decency for an extended period of time.” It is also men hoping to get sex or a relationship by communicating how much he values her, including getting her flowers and overall nice expressions and good treatment. Many times the woman won’t find him sexually attractive, but appreciates his personality and enjoys the attention, so he she pursues friendship with him when he wants more.

    Female friends of mine have admitted to finding such men “easy” and “predictable” and “uninteresting” and instead being attracted to men who ignored them and didn’t treat them very well because these men were “challenges” and they wanted to “change them.” These are all direct quotes, and I think this is an issue people like us (I also majored in econ and poli sci) could easily frame in terms of value: people are more likely to give the other party what they want in an exchange if they sufficiently value what they get in return. Women who are approached by a guy know that they guy is most likely interested in having sex with them, and before giving that to them (yes women enjoy the sex just as much but they will be utility maximizers and not just do it with anyone) will make sure he has something of value to offer her. People typically value what is easily gained more than what is easily gained. So many women tend to value the favor of men who initially treat them as if they are expendable more then the favor of men who are nice to them from the beginning. Men who have a lot to offer women (I don’t mean money or material things necessarily but personality qualities and everything else women look for in a man) tend to be in the former group, because they are in high demand, whereas men who don’t have much to offer tend to be in the latter group, because they are in low demand. So many times women view being treated nicely as a signal that that guy is in low demand, hence the friend zone. The flip side is that women usually want longterm relationships, and a man is more likely to agree to that arrangement with a woman who was a challenge more so than a woman who agreed to have sex very early on, and women who have a lot to offer are more likely to be a “challenge” while women who don’t have a lot to offer will tend to be “easier.” This description doesn’t describe everyone, only likelihoods.

      Oh honey no said:
      July 1, 2014 at 5:34 pm

      Dear James

      Please. Stop what you’re doing, right now, and go outside and meet some women.

      Notice I said “meet some women”. I didn’t say “hit on some women”. You’re not ready for that. Just go outside your room and INTERACT with some. There’s a whole world of reality out there, an exciting new world waiting for you to discover it. The earth is not flat. Santa Claus is not real. And human relationships cannot be reduced to a cost-benefit analysis where the parties are “utility maximisers”.

      Women do not generally view being treated nicely as a signal that that guy is in low demand. Holy impalashit, you seriously believe this guff? Here’s a big clue for you – anyone who has beliefs like this is not “nice”. You are not “nice”.

      I don’t know whether to feel desperately sorry for someone who is socially challenged enough to believe this stuff, or whether to just laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

    borntorun83 said:
    July 21, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    The utter stupidity of some of the guys comments on this just confirms for me ever more that the self-proclaimed Nice guy/Friend Zone whiners are pathetic creeps who are utterly rotten underneath their wimpy, servile “Nice Guy” facades. I’m so glad women reject these creeps.

    common sense bruh said:
    July 28, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    Good god, some of the comments above scare the ever-living shit out of me…
    Those kinds of beliefs are exactly what the author was talking about, with a dose of reality that makes me fear for my fellow women. The male entitlement seen in these comments is so scary.
    Sigh. Love the article, glad to see it.

    What Is Rape Culture? | fragments said:
    August 1, 2014 at 2:57 am

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    Shawn Hill said:
    December 6, 2014 at 6:15 am

    Man these articles are stupid. Assuming, more than that, stating with “authority” that the “friend zone” means Niceguys feel entitled to sex for treating a girl nicely. Is stupid. There are 7 billion people on the planet, you can’t know what they all want. You also can’t decide that all reference to the friend zone is done by nice guys, shit guys or assholes. Even your tweet examples are idiotic. Do these guys claim to be Nice guys? Are these tweets to be taken seriously? You are taking 142 characters and labeling a person, judging a person and exploiting them via your assumptions and judgement. Yet you are calling them bad people? Your assumption that everyone views the friend zone as a sexless area is also stupid and very close minded. With all the problems with Rape in our society, you and others are making a very large leap to try and link Friend Zone to promoting of rape culture. The Friend Zone is when you are rejected by a girl you hope to date. You are seen as just a friend. Trying to grasp at straws and link that ideal with promotion of rape culture just makes me take you less seriously.

    The Viral Vid | What Is Rape Culture? said:
    March 2, 2015 at 1:33 am

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    What Is Rape Culture? - bloopers said:
    May 21, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    What Is Rape Culture? | Celeb, News and Video! said:
    June 30, 2015 at 10:02 am

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    La culture du viol, c’est quoi? - said:
    July 18, 2015 at 12:53 am

    […] blogueur Kevin Beirne explique clairement comment le concept de ” friend zone ” peut renforcer la culture du viol […]

    […] blogueur Kevin Beirne explique clairement comment le concept de ” friend zone ” peut renforcer la culture du viol […]

    "强奸文化"是什么? | 推精选 said:
    October 1, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    […] 博主Kevin Beirne 对此进行了透彻的分析,解释了“男闺蜜的福利”理论是如何助长强奸文化的: […]

    What Is Rape Culture? | TheBuzzKing said:
    October 20, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    Boy meets girls « The Kevin Beirne Experience said:
    February 21, 2016 at 11:20 pm

    […] made it no secret that I haven’t always been great to women. I fell into a lot of the same traps as I think pretty much all men who are attracted to women do […]

    […] made it no secret that I haven't always been great to women. I fell into a lot of the same traps as I think pretty much all men who are attracted to women do […]

    What Is Rape Culture? – IMA said:
    June 6, 2016 at 12:04 am

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    La culture du viol, c’est quoi? – IMA said:
    June 6, 2016 at 12:05 am

    […] blogueur Kevin Beirne explique clairement comment le concept de ” friend zone ” peut renforcer la culture du viol […]

    What Is Rape Culture? – Live Strong Forever said:
    June 30, 2016 at 10:01 pm

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    What Is Rape Culture? | ViralRealm.com said:
    August 12, 2016 at 2:54 am

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    […] blogueur Kevin Beirne explique clairement comment le concept de ” friend zone ” peut renforcer la culture du viol […]

    La culture du viol, c’est quoi? | Fun Time Viral said:
    January 19, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    […] blogueur Kevin Beirne explique clairement comment le concept de ” friend zone ” peut renforcer la culture du viol […]

    What Is Rape Culture? | Civil Attorney Team said:
    January 30, 2017 at 8:45 am

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    La culture du viol, c’est quoi? – FUNknee said:
    February 16, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    […] blogueur Kevin Beirne explique clairement comment le concept de ” friend zone ” peut renforcer la culture du viol […]

    What Is Rape Culture? – Dirty Girl Media said:
    February 23, 2017 at 8:34 am

    […] Kevin Beirne has an excellent breakdown of how the friend zone leads to rape […]

    […] Beirne, K. (2013). Rape culture and the friendzone. The Kevin Beirne Experience. Retrieved from https://kevbeirne.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/rape-culture-and-the-friendzone/ […]

    blackcoatdresswithgoldbuttons.wordpress.com said:
    May 4, 2017 at 7:02 am

    you’re in point of fact a just right webmaster. The website loading velocity is incredible.
    It sort of feels that you are doing any unique
    trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you’ve done a fantastic job on this matter!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s